How Do You Define Cheating?

The Internet is often brought up in couples conflicts and blamed for infidelity.

There are more ways to cheat today than ever before.

What Counts as Cheating?

And each couple may define cheating differently. The types of infidelity can range from secretly viewing online porn, to chatting privately with ex partners, to seeking out new people on dating apps, or even to having a full-blown online affair, through a webcam where you can have both a sexual and an emotional relationship online.

Almost everyone defines cheating as sexual infidelity, but if an affair is strictly online, does it always count as cheating? It absolutely may, to your partner.

Do You and Your Partner Agree on What Counts as Cheating?

Have you had this discussion? It can be difficult to talk about and you may believe that your partner would never stray, even electronically. However, they may be engaged in activities that they believe to be innocent.

The only way to arrive at a common understanding and avoid implicit assumptions is to talk openly about what “counts” as cheating.

Can the Internet Support Your Relationship?

It is not always infidelity, either. Some couples figure out how online sexual connections can strengthen the relationship. Viewing porn together or sexting each other throughout the day can bring excitement back to a relationship. Others find they don’t mind their partner engaging online with others, as long as they don’t stray in “real” life.

Sit down and have the discussion; find out what cheating means to each of you. Figure out how you can make the Internet support your relationship, rather than harm it. Come to an agreement about what activities are acceptable and with whom.

If you need help having these discussions, contact me for a session in creating explicit monogamy agreements, so you don’t have to wonder what your partner is up to every time they turn on their laptop.