Redbook Magazine is talking about sex. Thats no surprise. With a whole section on “your love life” this magazine is not quite as racy as Cosmo, and intended for slightly more mature readers, Redbook Magazine, this month asks the sex question, “how can I get back that lovin’ feeling?”  In this month’s edition October 2008, on page 92, Redbook Magazine asks the following question, and quotes Tammy Nelson, author of “Getting the Sex You Want.”  Author and psychotherapist Tammy Nelson responds with direct, practical advice and reminds women how to take charge of their own passion, and find their erotic power.


Sex with my husband is good, but I miss that gotta-have-it-feeling from when we were a new couple. How can I get it back?

There’s a good chance your desire is still there under the surface but that you’ve gotten into the habit of shoving it away, says psychotherapist Tammy Nelson, author of Getting the Sex You Want. “ As a woman living in a diet-obsessed society that glorifies self-sacrifice, you’re trained to shut out your hunger- for food and for pleasure,” says Nelson. She suggests relearning how to connect with your desires. When you’re craving something but you aren’t sure what, don’t ignore the yearning. Instead, take a few moments to tune in to the physical sensations. Ask yourself, “Is my stomach growling for food? Or are my nipples hard and my genitals tingling?” Says Nelson, “After you recognize the signs of arousal, expand those feelings by indulging in the sexy mood. Walk in an erotic way, throw on a silky scarf, or go and masturbate.” As you learn to appreciate the subtle indicators of pleasure in your body, you’ll become more sensitive to feeling turned on. When you’re finally in bed with your guy, just imagine the erotic power – you’ll definitely know you gotta have it!

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