Defining infidelity seems simple. Having sex with someone outside of your committed partnership means cheating, right? But today an affair can be tricky to define and identify.
Below I share a selection of my articles and videos that can help you define what infidelity is, how to end an affair when you or your partner find yourself embroiled in one, and how to help your relationship recover after infidelity has rocked your monogamy.
What is an Affair?
At its most basic, infidelity occurs whenever someone breaks a relationship agreement.
However, agreements may be implicit or explicit. If your understanding of your monogamy agreement includes an implicit assumption that masturbation is cheating, or emotional relationships are cheating, then you might be setting yourself up for betrayal.
Most likely your partner has their own implicit assumptions about what what a committed relationship means to them.
A transgression can be sexual, emotional, or financial in nature. It can be in person, online, or even in your mind. For you, which is worse?
How to End an Affair
Once an affair has been discovered or disclosed, it’s time to make some decisions. And conversations need to happen.
If you and your partner decide to stay together and repair your relationship, the one having the affair should end it. However most people don’t end their affairs until their primary relationship is healed or seems to be on a more positive path.
Here are some tips on how to promote healing and move toward a new relationship agreement that works for both of you.
How to Recover from Infidelity
After an affair, the journey to a new relationship between the two of you can be begin. It’s not necessarily the goal to repair your relationship after infidelity, but to begin a new one, together. Starting a new relationship is not a one-time event; it’s a process.
Here are a couple resources to help you get started.
Once you’ve taken advantage of some of the FREE resources in this article, you may find that you need more than what you find in these links.
Finally, for those of you who want direct help to create a new monogamy agreement and work through the pain and betrayal of an affair, I am available to work with you and/or your partner directly. Contact me to schedule a session or a couples intensive. Together, we can find the way forward.