The moment we commit to ‘forever’ to our partner, we RELAX into the relationship, and what happens? We immediately REGRESS.
We go back to what we have always known about FOREVER – which is probably your family. All of your family issues and the dynamics of the folks who promised to love you forever no matter what now come to the surface.
We begin to parentify our partners, treating them like children (“Why cant you pick up your socks? How come I need to ask you for money for groceries? When will you give me what I want?”) All of these longings for the perfect partner come from the expectation that your partner should anticipate your needs like the perfect parent. This doesnt always happen, obviously.
And then we enter the conflict stage!