Not to show my age, but do you remember the old sitcoms that showed a couple fighting, and then the husband sleeping on the couch, “in the doghouse,” as punishment for his transgressions? We grew up thinking that in order to get what we want, punishment of what we didn’t want was key. Anyone familiar with my work knows that isn’t the case: we get more of what we appreciate.
I appreciate this article discussing how damaging punishment is to adult relationships: That Will Teach You! Why Punishment Damages Relationships
The next time your partner does something you disapprove of, approach them with empathy and understanding in mind and finish with an appreciation.
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