In today’s changing world, there is no one right way to be in a relationship. In my book, The New Monogamy, couples can create a new type of agreement where they can change their implicit assumptions around their monogamy to a more explicit discussion, creating a more consensual relationship.
In Carrie Jenkins’ book, What Love Is and What It Could Be, she talks about negotiating her world of loving relationships.
Sometimes couples who are in implicitly monogamous relationships have different ideas of “monogamy.” For instance, is online sexting the same as cheating? Or is viewing pornography a betrayal of your marriage vows? Some couples may not think flirting is an issue, while others view it as a betrayal. Where do you fall on the spectrum of monogamy?
Negotiating a relationship openly and honestly means that defining “monogamy” can be just one option on a spectrum, or even several shades of an option. Our culture is slowly becoming aware of the idea of consensual non-monogamy as another option in a committed relationship.