What’s Your Love Language?

Have you ever felt as though you’re just not seen by your partner? They say they don’t feel loved even though you go out of your way to do kind things, or make an effort to compliment them. Or maybe your partner is obviously showing you how much they appreciate you through their actions, but you still don’t feel loved and understood. It can be as though you’re speaking two different languages.

There’s actually a good chance that you are communicating your love in different ways. The Five Love Languages were developed by Gary Chapman, a North Carolina pastor and counselor. He realized that people tended to show love in one of five ways, and he recognized that if the love languages in a relationship didn’t match up, it could cause a lot of trouble in a relationship.

The love languages are:
Receiving gifts,
Quality time
Words of affirmation,
Acts of service
Physical touch

The good news is that if you can learn how your partner likes to have love expressed and teach them how you feel most loved in return, you can avoid misunderstandings and deepen your connection. If you know your partner is making an effort to speak your language, you get the benefits of their action as well as the knowledge that they are attentive enough to work and give you what you need.
Realizing you speak a different love language than your partner can also clear up a lot of confusion. For example, if your partner needs touch to feel loved but your focus is on quality time, your partner may feel like you aren’t connecting even though you go out on regular dates. You are giving regular time (your language of love) and your partner is giving what they think is needed (touch), but both of you end up feeling out of sync. If your partner learns that touch communicates love more directly for them and that time helps you feel loved, then you can both recognize the differences and find ways to address both of your needs.

“I think that the five love languages concept is important because it addresses the deep emotional need to feel loved. Our country is in desperate trouble when it comes to relationships, and we need all the help we can get.”

Take the test and find out what your love language is today. You can even send a request and your results to your partner. This can be a great conversation starter and what you discover can bring you much closer together.


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