“Honesty is this century’s biggest challenge,” said Dr. Tammy Nelson, Infidelity Expert, on Psychology Today. Infidelity is a hot topic this year and gaining ground since the Ashley Madison hacking scandal. Therapists are encountering more couples facing the discovery or disclosure of infidelity and wondering where to go from here. Therapist and content creator Alexandra Katehakis reached out to me for an interview and published it on her Psychology Today blog:
The Sexpert Chronicles: Profile of an Infidelity Expert
An excerpt:
AK – Has the rate of infidelity increased and, if so, why?
TN – With the widespread use of the internet to meet outside partners, to find sexual stimulation, to explore erotic interests, the capacity to compartmentalize our lives has increased tremendously in the past few years. Many couples split off their erotic energy outside of the relationship when they feel their relationship cannot contain it. This is the first time in history that you can lie in bed next to your partner and cheat on them, without their knowledge. This is not a sexual problem, it is a dilemma of integrity. Affairs are about hiding and not keeping our promises. Integrity means integrating all of the parts of the self – those that are revealed and those that are denied. Remembering those parts is what healing is about. When we heal after infidelity, we must face ourselves, re-member who we are, integrate all the parts of ourselves and truly be open and honest. Honesty is this century’s biggest challenge.
On December 11th, I will be a guest presenter on Alexandra’s webinar series discussing The Future of Relationships: Can Couples Renegotiate their Monogamy after Infidelity? To listen, RSVP on the Center for Healthy Sex website.
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