Affairs can be painful and shocking and can cause betrayal and hurt. Yet some couples do recover.
For some couples, divorce after an affair may not be the answer. A strong foundation of love and a desire to make it work may mean that an affair can be a path to a renewed, and even stronger, relationship.
If an affair has affected your marriage or partnership, ask yourself the following questions:
– If you had the affair, are you remorseful, and do you regret the infidelity?
– Do you truly love your partner and want to stay with him or her and work things out?
– Are you ready to work on your relationship and to approach healing and reconciliation with deep honesty, even in the face of some serious pain?
If you answered yes to all three of these questions, you may be able to have a new relationship with your partner going forward.
If you are the person who was cheated on, ask yourself the following three questions:
– When you found out your partner cheated, were you frightened that this would mean your marriage was over?
– When you think about ending your relationship, does it feel wrong and are you willing to try to make things work?
– Are you able to honestly take some responsibility for your own part in why the relationship wasn’t working prior to the affair?
If you answered yes to all three of these questions then you may be ready to move to a new monogamy as well. Notice that none of these questions asked you whether or not you can forgive or forget the affair. You may still be on the fence about that. And you may even be on the fence about whether or not to stay together. Creating a new relationship or a new monogamy together means simply exploring the option of giving your relationship another chance.
Find out how to move forward into a new relationship, a new monogamy in the full article on HuffPost.com
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