I recently read an inspiring article in The Guardian about several women who are working at the radical edge of sex positive feminism, called “The Pleasure Revolution.” I was particularly struck by this line:
“#MeToo was about men imposing their pleasure on women. The pleasure revolution is about women asserting their own pleasure.”
Time to Claim Our Right to Sexual Pleasure
Women, it’s time. Time to assert our rights to our own sexual pleasure. Throughout most of history, men’s pleasure has been prioritized, often at the expense of women’s pleasure and even consent. Now, in the wake of the #MeToo movement, we have the opportunity to change the conversation.
Men are feeling unsure of themselves, uncertain how to interact with women. They worry about saying or doing the wrong thing, they hesitate to flirt, some are even becoming angry and joining Incel (involuntarily celibate) groups that target women for violence.
Rather than letting men continue to flounder, or expecting them to figure it out for themselves, we need to step up and and speak out. But before we can do that, we need to claim our right to our own sexual pleasure and we need to understand our own desires.
Begin Your Own Sexual Empowerment Journey
Do you know what turns you on? What kind of pleasurable sensations do you like best?
Do you know how to masturbate? Are you comfortable doing so? How about masturbating while having sex with a partner?
Do you know how to talk about what you like and what you want during sex?
Are you ashamed about your desires? Do you feel badly that you don’t look like a model? Are you embarrassed by your noises?
Do you believe you have a right to your pleasure?
When you can learn the answers to your questions and learn to let go of shame, embarrassment, and the negative belief that you don’t have a right to your own sexual pleasure, you can experience a sexual awakening.
Then you will be empowered to share with your romantic partners what you want and need in the bedroom. You will be more confident about establishing and maintaining your boundaries. You’ll be prepared to enthusiastically consent or firmly deny consent to any kind of interaction (not just overtly sexual), based on what is true for you in any given moment.
It is time for a pleasure revolution. It is time for women to assert their right to pleasure.
For more information on how to get the pleasure you want, pick up a copy of Getting the Sex You Want, at drtammynelson.com.
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