All this week we’ve been talking about Conscious Uncoupling – have you been considering divorce and want a better way?
Conscious uncoupling or what I call intentional divorce is more common than ever before. The move toward a more intentional uncoupling in marriages, a committed partnership or family is a positive one in a society where divorce rates still hover at about 50-60%, and second and third marriages are common. When marriage seems to have an expiration date, it’s the endings that are traumatic, and we need a new way in our society to deal with the finality.
No one wants to get divorced if it means we tear each other apart, but sometimes a marriage is over and we have to leave in order to start a new life. And we don’t want to throw each other to the wolves in court, suffering an adversarial legal battle where the winner takes all. We want to end our marriages well. We want to know that we have our children’s best interests in mind, and that we are protecting ourselves and our partner’s financial interests for the future. And divorce can be, well, let’s face it, emotionally devastating. But there isn’t a lot of good advice about how to do it well.
Today we have choices. We can choose a “collaborative divorce” where both attorneys commit, in writing, to a process without fighting or instigating a legal battle. Or both parties can share a mediator, someone who can help negotiate the parenting plan, the financial arrangements of splitting property and savings and filing paperwork. Divorce doesn’t have to be frightening and create a world of hate. But what if you are in that emotional space where you don’t want to be nice to your soon to be ex? Check out my blog on YourTango for a list of reasons to end your marriage or partnership consciously.
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