Does VR Porn Excite or Alarm You?

VR-porn-exciting-alarming

Photo by Samuel Zeller on Unsplash

Have you heard of virtual reality pornography? This innovative technology allows you to totally immerse yourself into a pornographic scene. Putting on VR glasses allows you to interact directly with the characters.

Is VR Porn Good or Bad?

Does this intrigue you? Does it turn you off? Does it worry or alarm you? While many are eager to try it, many others have deep concerns about this new technology.

What Are We Afraid Of?

On the Future of Sex site, I contributed to an article that examines many of these fears, which include:

  • VR porn could replace physical sex
  • VR porn can feel like cheating
  • There may be ethical issues with VR porn
  • Feelings of insecurity or inadequacy can be triggered by VR porn
  • VR porn might allow for otherwise denied interest in violent, misogynistic content
  • VR porn could increase compulsive porn use

If you have any of these fears, your feelings certainly have validity. It’s time to have an open conversation about how to deal with these issues, both individually and societally. If you haven’t seen it yet, VR porn is coming!

Let’s Keep the Conversation Open About VR Porn

Many of the issues people are worried about in relation to VR porn are not new. Regular in-print porn and internet porn have been stirring up fears for years and for many of the same reasons. We now have enough data on the use of internet porn to debunk many of the myths around its use and misuse.

Of course, there will always be the potential for misuse of any technology. If you are in a relationship, it is important to continue talking to your partner about whether watching porn is part of your monogamy agreement.  Or is masturbation a private act that doesn’t and shouldn’t include your partner?

Couples Need to Negotiate About VR Porn

When the topic of experimenting with VR porn becomes part of the conversation in your relationship talk through the potential issues, fears, and other feelings that come up.

Everyone negotiates their relationship differently. You may feel that any pornography viewing is a form of cheating. Other couples might be totally with it. Some couples incorporate it successfully into their sex lives, together.

The most important thing is to talk about it beforehand. Keeping anything secret can lead to hurt feelings and misunderstandings.  Figure out what is ‘private’ in your relationship and decide what ‘secret’ means and why.  Are there things you are purposely keeping from your partner because you are afraid it will hurt them?

Open and honest communication can be hard but leads to the most integrity in committed partnerships.

My Books Can Help You Have These Discussions

If you need help having delicate discussions around porn or other issues in your sex life, feel free to contact me to set up a session, or get a copy of my books, Getting the Sex You Want and The New Monogamy. Both can guide you through the process of connecting in a relationship where both you and your partner can thrive.

There’s no reason to fear VR porn if you can have open and honest conversations about its place in your life and in your relationships.

Therapists Need to Be Prepared for VR Porn, Too

The topic of VR porn is bound to show up in sessions with clients. Issues around sexuality are often related to other presenting problems, both individually and relationally.

If you need more knowledge in this area, or you want to avoid harming your clients with unintentional and unexamined biases, it may be time to get more in-depth training in sex and couples therapy.

The Integrative Sex Therapy Institute (ISTI) has a new program to train therapists to be competent and sensitive about sexual issues, including VR and other types of porn use.

The Certified Sex and Couples Therapist (CSCT) certification program integrates techniques, theory, and practice in both sexuality and relationships. Find out more about how you can register for this new program today by signing up for my newsletter.

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