By Guest Author, Scarlett White
Loving relationships bring countless benefits; security, companionship, a partner that has your back and, if you are lucky, a true friend. Committed partnerships also enjoy a unique level of intimacy. But sometimes the heightened level of familiarity and hectic schedules can interfere with a sexual relationship. Sex can become predictable, routine or even a chore.
It’s unlikely that you could recreate the frenzied intensity of the early days of mutual sexual exploration. However that doesn’t have to mean settling for something familiar but slightly stale. From date nights to swinging–there are plenty of ways to tackle this issue.
One of the easiest ways to ramp things up from mild to hot is to introduce sex toys into your sex life. All it takes is a playful attitude and a little imagination.
Related story: “Sex Toys: Not Just For Women Anymore”
Broaching the topic
There are lots of ways sex toys can enhance sexuality in established relationships. In fact, research shows established couples report higher levels of pleasure from adding toys to their sexual repertoire more than any other type of erotic play. This benefit is partly due to the high level of mutual trust couples experience when they play with toys. They also tend to have a more mature and secure approach to the unfamiliar and unexpected.
Are you or your partner hesitant to try sex toys? Unless you and your partner are particularly open and adventurous by nature, introducing sex toys can be a little tricky.
If you have an interest in using sex toys and your partner is unaware of your curiosity, you might feel awkward introducing your fantasies. Or you might feel shy talking about your new interest. Some men in heterosexual relationships may initially feel that sex toys are a threat. They may view toys as something their partner desires because they are not satisfied in bed. Men can make up that using sex toys means they have a lacking in size, or talent, and they are failing to provide their partner sexual satisfaction.
Related story: “How Do You Get the Sex You Want?”
Broaching the subject of adding something new to liven up your love life can, no matter how well intentioned, imply that sex has gotten boring. Start with an appreciation for your partner (see Dr. Tammy Nelson’s Getting the Sex You Want for more on how to use sexual appreciations) and let your partner know that you want to add in more pleasure to your love life, expanding on what’s already working. And remind your partner that sex ‘toys’ are just that–toys. They are meant to add fun and play to your erotic life.
Get going
There’s plenty of opportunity to build excitement long before introducing sex toys into your intimate lives. Browsing through a sex toy catalog or website together is a great opportunity to explore fantasies and test boundaries in a safe and nonthreatening way. Surfing for toys can create erotic anticipation. Plan together how you might want to play with them.
Getting the most out of sex toys means making the right choices. There are thousands of sex toys on the market, ranging from basic discreet vibrators to complicated bondage style equipment. The sheer variety of choices can be overwhelming if you have little or no experience. If one of you has used a sex toy on a solo basis, this can provide a good starting point for introducing a dildo or vibrator to your love life.
Starter toys
Sex is fun and toys are intended to make it even more so. For beginners, start with items like feathers and gentle spanking aids. Or opt for a smaller sized or bullet-shaped vibrator, either with or without a clitoral stimulator. Begin with toys that bring both pleasure and confidence.
Men only
Vibrators and dildos for women may be the first things that come to mind when you think of sex toys. However, rings, girth sleeves and dildos are designed especially for anal use, for men to use on their own or with another man. Many men enjoy a vibrating sensation, so a penis ring with a vibrating function can offer a lot of potential pleasure to both of you.
Dynamic duo
More experienced or adventurous couples can enjoy vibrators designed specifically to be used by both partners. Some are made for two women to enjoy simultaneous penetration, others for heterosexual couples to do the same.
Tied up and fired up
Bondage themed toys are perfect for any couple who might find it exciting. From blindfolds and handcuffs to chastity belts and whips, there are enough options to suit all tastes and experience levels. Bondage and S&M toys can fuel endless fantasies and role plays.
Reaching new limits
A couple who uses sex toys may enjoy stronger bonds and a deeper intimacy. However, sex toys have many other benefits as well, including relieving the pressures around reaching orgasm. Vibrators and dildos can help if a man suffers from erectile dysfunction or if a woman has difficulty reaching climax or wants extra stimulation during penetrative sex.
Related story: “Want Her to Want More Sex? Buy Her a Vibrator…”
Sex toys have definitely become more available and more mainstream than ever before. They are more common and can be more a regular part of couple’s shared sexual activities.
Using sex toys can deepen interpersonal relationships and encourage a deeper level of communication, as well as adding variety, interest and excitement.
For more information on how to talk about introducing more things into your sex life, try www.gettingthesexyouwant.com or contact Dr Tammy Nelson for easy ways to communicate your fantasies and desires to your partner.
This article was written by Scarlett White from Love it right. She is a senior content writer that writes to inform people about the best practices to follow in their relationships and their sex life.
Love it right offers some of the best sex toys on the market. They help to spice up their customers’ sex lives by providing a range of unique products and accessories. For years, Love it right has been on a journey to reunite sex with the norm! Follow their journey on social media using the hashtag: #reunitesex.
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Charlotte Fleet
I like your tips for spicing up a sex life, like using toys such as dildos. My husband and I have been having some trouble in the bedroom and are looking for ways to keep things interesting. I think we should try out something new like a strapless dildo or some other toy.
Darrien Hansen
I like that you mentioned how shopping for sex toys with your partner can be an intimate experience to have together to create anticipation. Now that my wife and I are getting older, we have noticed that we aren’t as interested in having sex which has caused us both to become self-conscious of our bodies. Maybe buying some sex toys could help spark interest in our relationship and give us the confidence boost that we need.