ISTI: Treating Trauma: Affairs, Sex, Divorce and the Internet – Nov 2018 – DC


Challenge yourself with expert lecturers and in-depth discussions in this 3 day integrated training. Classes include integrative sexual function, sexual trauma, divorce, second adolescence, and cyber sex.

Register for Barry McCarthy’s 1-Day Special Presentation – select “Barry McCarthy-Thurs” below. 

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Select “Barry McCarthy-Thurs” to attend the 1-day Special Presentation

Treating Trauma: Affairs, Sex, Drugs, Divorce and the Internet

November 7-10, 2018

Held at : The Chicago School of Psychology – Washington, DC

–Discounts for Early Registration End – Oct 10, 2018–


Weds – Nov 7:

  • Group Therapy for Mature Sexual Issues and Trauma – Pamela Finnerty
  • Cyber Affairs, Intentional Divorce and Second Adolescence – Tammy Nelson

Thurs – Nov 8:

  • (All Day) Cognitive-Behavioral Couple Sex Therapy – Barry McCarthy

Fri – Nov 9:

  • (All Day) Working with Couples and Sexual Trauma – Gail Guttman

Sat – Nov 10:

  • Couples and Substance Abuse, Drugs and Sex – Tammy Nelson
  • Integrative Sexual Function – Hani Miletski

You may register now for any combination of days. Student discounts available, email

7 CEUs per class day / 28 CEUs total

Nov 7 (Weds) 9am – 12noon – Group Therapy for Mature Sexual Issues and Trauma with Pamela Finnerty, PhD

    • This workshop will address sexual trauma issues which can can arise in mature women and men and how these issues can be addressed in ongoing individual and couples groups.
    • Millions of people are turning 55 every year, and are entering territory replete with misinformation and negative assumptions about the role of sex in the lives of older people.
    • Maturation can expand the capacity to embrace the gifts and the challenges of who we are.  Increased maturity can both motivate and facilitate the process of healing sexual trauma. Living in a time of unprecedented vulnerability and loss, mature people  are highly motivated to embrace that which increases the life force and the joy in living.  Working through sexual trauma ultimately increases the capacity for intimacy, as well as love and acceptance of self.  Increased self-regulation and compassion can develop with maturity, and for some people the container of a therapy group can facilitate the process of facing and healing long-held trauma.
    • This course will include:
      • Participants will learn the sexual and physical limitations, the real and not imagined or overrated effects of post-menopause
      • Participants will explore their own beliefs, attitudes, fears about aging and sex
      • Participants will discuss the relational paradigm, partner relationships, and the stress of ongoing lack of partners
      • Participants will learn about STI’s testing, Self regulation, Self stimulation, Self-care Lubrication, vaginal care, medications, illness, Sex Toys
      • Participants will learn  Alternative paradigms around aging including polyamory, BDSM, Tantra, etc
      • Participants will learn interventions for aging and sex including INTERNET dating
      • Meets Requirements for:
        • AASECT Core Knowledge Areas: Sex Ed B, E, G, H, I, J, K, M; Sex Therapy A, B, C, E
        • Certified Sex and Couples Therapist (CSCT): Category 1

Nov 7 (Weds) 1p – 5pm – Cyber Affairs, Intentional Divorce and Second Adolescence with Dr. Tammy Nelson

    • Cyber sex is defined as sexual arousal using computer technology, when wearing virtual reality equipment, exchanging social media connections, or exchanging messages with another person via the internet. It is also called computer sex, internet sex, online sex, netsex, cyber or cybering, virtual sex encounters, hooking up, Becoming aroused by sexual cues on the internet can involve another person or not. This workshop will address how infidelity can occur through social media, and through other technology. We will also talk about midlife crisis and reframe the idea of middle age and examine the developmental phases as second adolescence and discuss how this relates to primary and secondary intimate partnerships. We will also touch on divorce and how this may be yet another developmental phase of committed partnership in today’s new monogamy social world. This course will include case examples, interventions and techniques.
      • Participants will learn the definition of affairs and how sex and tech has expanded the definition of infidelity and how sensory experiences have changed given the new potential for online experiences with virtual reality and artificial intelligence.
      • Participants will define second adolescence and determine the developmental phases of separation and individuation and how these may be delayed and the symptoms and signs of this phase may resemble midlife crisis.
      • Participants will identify the concept of divorce as a ‘normal’ phase of a long monogamous life in a primary partnership where a couple may enjoy serial monogamy in an extended sexual lifetime and how intentional and conscious divorce may be a better way for couples to enjoy the transition time between relationships instead of traumatizing one another and their families.
    • Meets Requirements for:
      • AASECT Core Knowledge Areas: Sex Ed K ; Sex Therapy A, C
      • Certified Sex and Couples Therapist (CSCT): Category 1d

Nov 8 (Thurs) 9am – 5p – Cognitive-Behavioral Couple Sex Therapy with Barry McCarthy, PhD

      • Sexual dysfunction and dissatisfaction is a very common mental health problem for individuals and couples, more common than anxiety and depression combined. This clinically-oriented class will address the most common male and female sexual problems with an emphasis on the cognitive-behavioral model of assessment, treatment, and relapse prevention.
      • We will describe the four-session assessment model which begins with a couple session to reinforce that intimacy and sexuality is best understood as a couple issue, the second and third sessions as an individual psychological/relational/sexual history, and the fourth session is a 90-minute couple feedback session that bridges the assessment and treatment phases. The most common therapeutic contract is a 6-month good faith effort to create a couple sexual style focused on desire/pleasure/eroticism/satisfaction.
      • Sexual problems are dealt with directly with an emphasis on psychosexual skill exercises. The most common female sexual dysfunctions are female interest/arousal disorder and sexual pain (dyspareunia). The most common male sexual dysfunctions are premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, and ejaculatory inhibition (delayed ejaculation). The psychobiosocial model of assessment and treatment is utilized rather than the bio-medical model. A relapse prevention plan and follow-up sessions are integral to successful sex therapy
      • This course will include:
        • Clinically-oriented workshop focuses on direct treatment of sexual problems, especially sexual desire.
        • Exploration of the four-session assessment model.
        • Description of the psychobiosocial model of assessment, treatment, and relapse prevention.
        • New model of female responsive sexual desire as first class rather than inferior.
        • Developing an individualized relapse prevention plan.
      • Participants will be able to:
        • Have the skills to conduct a comprehensive four session assessment of individual, relational, and sexual problems
        • Learn a range of strategies and techniques to help couples integrate intimacy and eroticism to create strong, resilient sexual desire.
        • Utilize the psychobiosocial model to assess and treat male and female sexual dysfunctions.
        • Help clients develop a couple sexual style which maintains strong, resilient sexual desire.
        • Confront the individual pass-fail perfect performance model and replace it with the Good Enough Sex (GES) model to enhance sexual satisfaction.
        • Learn to implement psychosexual skill exercises to enhance desire/pleasure/eroticism/satisfaction
        • Design an individualized relapse prevention plan to maintain therapeutic gains and enhance their intimate sexual relationship.
    • Meets Requirements for:
      • AASECT Core Knowledge Areas: Sex Ed A, C, D, E, F, H, I, M, N, O; Sex Therapy B, C, E
      • Certified Sex and Couples Therapist (CSCT): Category 1c, 1d, 2a, 3a, 4d

Nov 9 (Fri) 9am – 5pm – Working with Couples and Sexual Trauma with Gail Guttman, LCSW

      • Couples therapy is an important aspect of any survivor of childhood sexual abuse or other sexual trauma. Today, many therapists are skilled in trauma work with individuals using such therapeutic methods as EMDR, somatic experiencing, etc. While these types of individual therapy are essential part of any healing in trauma, clients often suffer with their partners, particularly in the area of sexuality. Given that such clients have little experience of positive sexuality, helping them to create new sexual paradigms is challenging, but necessary. This workshop will examine the sexual beliefs that trauma survivors and their partners have about themselves. Some common sexual problems and dynamics in couples where one partner has experienced sexual trauma will be defined. Often the most difficult part of dealing with these couples is addressing automatic triggers of the survivors. We will explore these triggers and methods to help the couples overcome them. Healing is an important part of this work and as therapists we need to understand what is needed to provide healing. Various techniques of working with the couples will be explored throughout the afternoon in order to help couples move towards healing and erotic recovery.
        • Defining the self sexual concepts of the sexual trauma survivor and their partner.
        • Overview of sexual dynamics in couples in which one partner has experienced sexual trauma.
        • Explore the automatic triggers that interfere with healing in the couple where one partner experienced sexual trauma and strategies to address these triggers
        • Using attachment and Imago theories to explore healing factors possible in couples’ therapy.
        • Demonstration of a healing process for couples in which one partner has experienced sexual trauma
        • Sexuality techniques for couples in which one partner has experienced sexual trauma will be shown and practiced.
    • Meets Requirements for:
        • AASECT Core Knowledge Areas: Sex Ed B, C, E, I, J, M, O; Sex Therapy A, B, C, E, F
        • Certified Sex and Couples Therapist (CSCT): Category 1c, 2d

Nov 10 (Sat) 9am – 12pm – Couples and Substance Abuse, Drugs and Sex with Dr. Tammy Nelson

    • In this course we will:
      • Explore contemporary clinical interventions and drugs
      • Discuss rekindling connection and the intersection of sexual desire and pharmaceuticals
      • Examine addiction, substance abuse, recovery and sex
      • Explore Viagra type drugs and male female arousal issues
      • Club drugs, MDMA, poppers, and the latest in chemical sex
      • Shamanic organic plant medicines and hallucinogenic experiences
    • Meets Requirements for:
        • AASECT Core Knowledge Areas: Sex Ed C, E, H, L; Sex Therapy A, D, E, F
        • Certified Sex and Couples Therapist (CSCT): Category 1c, 2d

Nov 10 (Sat) 1pm – 5pm – Integrative Sexual Function with Hani Miletski, PhD, MSW

    • This session is for beginner sex therapists and sexuality counselors, and is an overview of the most common sexual issues women and men may face. This session will be mostly didactic, and will cover assessment, diagnosis, and treatment of orgasmic disorders, sexual pain disorders, sexual desire issues, female sexual arousal issues, Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder, and if time permits, we will also discuss Menopause. We will also cover topics such as: what’s an orgasm, female ejaculation, the Basson Cycle of Women’s Sexual Response, female genital anatomy, Kegel exercises, and more.
    • This session will be mostly didactic, and will cover assessment, diagnosis, and treatment of Erectile Dysfunction, Ejaculation
      issues (Early or Rapid Ejaculation and Delayed or Retarded Ejaculation), Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HSDD), and Peyronie’s Disease. We will also cover the anatomy and physiology of the penis, the testicles, the circumcision debate, and more.
  • Meets Requirements for:
      • AASECT Core Knowledge Areas: Sex Ed B, G, H, O; Sex Therapy A, B, D, E
      • Certified Sex and Couples Therapist (CSCT): Category 1a, 1c

All lectures will be taught by top experts recognized in the field of human sexuality both nationally and worldwide. Other faculty may be announced at a later time.

Included in your tuition: eWorkbook for module, complied by Tammy Nelson, Ph.D. with additional reading material and resources. Also included, coffee, drinks and light refreshments in the mornings.

**This program meets the educational requirements of the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) and is approved for 24 CE credits. These CE credits may be applied toward AASECT certification and renewal of certification. Completion of this program does not ensure or guarantee AASECT certification. For further information please contact

To learn more about AASECT sex therapy certification requirements, go to *Completion of this program does not ensure or guarantee AASECT certification. For further information, please contact CEs are accepted and approved by APA in most states. Please contact your local certifying organization for detailed information.

About the Trainers:

i-bXvBL69-MDr Tammy Nelson is a sex and relationship expert, an international speaker, and author of several books including, “Getting the Sex You Want; Shed Your Inhibitions and Reach New Heights of Passion Together”  and her new book “The New Monogamy; Redefining Your Relationship After Infidelity.” She is a Board Certified Sexologist, an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, and a Certified Imago Relationship therapist.  She has been a featured expert in Glamour Magazine, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, MSNBC, Healthy Life Magazine, Shape, Men’s Health, Men’s Health UK, Woman’s Day, Women’s Health, Twist Magazine, New York Times, Washington Post and a source in Time Magazine. She writes for the Huffington Post and  YourTango and gives workshops and Intensives for couples and trains therapists around the world on issues relating to sex and relationships.   She can be found at


Smiling Woman Hani MiletskiHani Miletski, Ph.D., MSW, is a psychotherapist in private practice in Bethesda, Maryland, with over 23 years of clinical experience. She is a Certified Sex Therapist (Diplomate) and Supervisor by the American Association for Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT). Dr. Miletski is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with a Master’s degree in Social Work from the Catholic University of America, National School of Social Service, in Washington, DC, and with a Doctoral Degree in Human Sexuality from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality, in San Francisco, California.
She is the author of Mother-Son Incest: The Unthinkable Broken Taboo Persists, Understanding Bestialtiy and Zoophilia, and a variety of other professional articles and chapters in professional journals. Dr. Miletski has been lecturing, training and supervising other therapists and professionals in the field of human sexuality throughout the world.
Dr. Miletski was born is Israel and served in the Israeli Defense Forces as an officer before coming to the US at the age of 24. She has been blissfully married for 17 years.


Smiling woman, blue shirt Gail GuttmanGail Guttman, LCSW, specializes in the integration of couples and sex therapy. Gail has been a Certified Imago Therapist since 1994 and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist since 1984. Gail offers consultation and supervision groups. She has been twice recognized by Washingtonian magazine as a “Top Therapist” in sex and couples therapy. Gail is also an AASECT CE Provider, AASECT Certified Sex


Therapy Supervisor and an Imago Clinical Consultant. She is passionate about helping therapists to integrate couples and sex therapy and welcomes different theoretical orientations in order to help each therapist find their own path.

Gail has presented on the subject of couples and sex therapy at the Integrative Sex Therapy Institute, Greater Washington Society for Clinical Social Workers, previous Imago therapy conferences, the University of Maryland and other professional organizations. She can be found at



Barry McCarthy, Ph.D. is a professor of psychology at American University, a diplomate in clinical psychology, a Certified Sex Therapist, and a Certified Couple Therapist. He has published more than 110 professional articles, 29 book chapters, and 14 books. Barry has presented more than 450 professional workshops in the United States and internationally. In 2016 he received the Masters and Johnson award for lifetime contributions to the sexuality field.

Dr. Pamela Finnerty has been a therapist in private practice specializing in relationship and couples therapy for over 30 years. Sexuality and aging have been areas of specialization since her earliest training in the 1970’s at the height of explosive shift in paradigms of women’s sexual freedom. She ran women’s sexuality groups and taught human sexuality classes in the 1970’s and in the early 1980’s completed a certificate in gerontology as part of her doctorate. She went on to develop and teach one of the first courses in the country on Counseling Older Persons as part of her full-time academic career at George Washington University. Pamela is now an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist as well. In this later chapter of her long career, she is writing and teaching about the importance of sexual vibrancy and aliveness to the vitality and health of women and men as they age. The blossoming of her career long priority to help older people free and become their best sexual selves is an important element of her own continuing power, strength, and joy.

** You will receive a refund less $50 deposit for your registration if you cancel within one week of the course. If you cancel with 24 hours notice for any reason, you will receive a refund less $100 deposit. If you cancel with less than 24 hours notice, you forfeit your tuition but may use your payment at any other time, for any other course.

Additional information

Days to Attend:

4-day Series, Barry McCarthy-Thurs, Weds, Fri, Sat, Weds/Thurs, Thurs/Fri, Fri/Sat, Weds/Thurs/Fri, Thu/Fri/Sat