Much of my work with couples is in the effort to save their marriage following infidelity, loss of sexual desire, or some other damage to intimacy. Sometimes, saving a marriage isn’t the best answer for one or both of the partners involved. Some couples seek extramarital affairs or couples therapy as a can-opener – they want out. I admire and respect Megan Harrod, the author of Divorce Doesn’t Need to be a Four Letter Word, for pointing out that divorce can be the door opening to a journey of self discovery.
Change is an important and universal aspect of life and love. How we cope with change impacts how happy and satisfied we are with our lives. Last year the idea of Conscious Uncoupling was a hot topic (read my blog about it here). I love to help couples change their lives and their relationships through intentional and compassionate actions.
Therapists often struggle with providing couples – and co-creating with them – effective strategies and rituals around their decision to divorce. Being intentional with couples around their rituals, negotiations, and decisions about ending the marriage, however, significantly improves the couple’s chance of ending the relationship emotionally intact, rather than succumbing to the cultural default of lawyers and litigation and turmoil. For professionals interested in assisting couples through their divorce, Wendy Patterson and I did a teleclass sharing a new paradigm of the divorce process with couples wherein effective relational therapy and consciousness raising can lead to a healthy and sound decision to end the marriage, after which the therapeutic work centers around intentional endings. The Intentional Divorce: A New Frontier is available for purchase and immediate download now.
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