Many things could be causing conflict in your relationship, but issues around sex and desire might be the biggest reason.
Conversations around sex are often avoided but they might actually be the cause of your arguments over other less important things.
Some couples have mismatched desires for sex. Others have unspoken assumptions about desire. These can lead to feelings of anger, shame, disappointment, and a longing for connection.
However, many people feel they don’t have the tools to address these feelings directly, so they wind up arguing instead about money, kids, in-laws, or who is going to take out the garbage.
Personal, cultural, gender, familial, or religious conditioning can get in the way of more vulnerable discussions. This is where a therapist can help.
A couples or sex therapist can help you understand the importance of exploring the erotic part of your relationship, and teach you simple ways to open a dialogue.
Alicia Munoz talks about how your argument might actually be coming from unmet sexual needs in her recent article. Read it here.