How to Make Passion a Priority

There are two parts of relationships, companionships and eroticism.  Your companionship is how you get along, how you manage your family life, your home.  The erotic aspect of your partnership is how you feel about each other. 

This is where your passion lies, and determines whether or not you feel like you are “in love” with your spouse.  When you work on the erotic  aspect of your relationship many of the companionship issues work themselves out. 

This is a direct contradiction to what you may have been taught in the past.  We have always believed that if you work on the relationship the sex will fix itself.  Except it doesn’t.  You have to work just as hard if not harder on your erotic life in order to feel the passion for your partner that you did in the early phase of your life together. 

A sex date gives you the ability to anticipate pleasure (and not just intercourse, we will talk more about that later).  It also allows women to experience desire as a result of feeling aroused first.  (I tell men that if you want to have sex with a woman on a Saturday, you have to start on a Wednesday!)  Arousal levels for women take time. 

To do this, you have to establish the time and space to focus on each other.  Creating a sex date once a week is an important priority going forward.  Carving out a sacred time and space in your lives that will focus on the two of you will set up anticipation and will also remind you that you each honor and respect the need for intimacy in your lives. 


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