Couple wearing coats, kissing in a park

Cuffing Season Leads People to Stray

Couple wearing coats, kissing in a park

Ashley Madison recently revealed that more men sign up for their online dating site during the month of October than any other month of the year. Ashley Madison is a website for married people to find other married people to date.

I shared several reasons in their article why I thought this might be so. One reason? October is the start of “cuffing season.”

What is Cuffing Season?

Cuffing season is the time of year when people turn toward each other for warmth and companionship. The colder, darker months mean that people do less outdoor activities and want to cuddle up inside.

When the days are shorter and the nights longer and colder, people naturally want to “cuff” up with someone else. You gotta share body heat, right?

What better way to stay warm than to start a hot new relationship? That may be what motivates many people to start new affairs during this time of year.

Other people engage in infidelity simply for the thrill of cheating. The danger of getting caught gets their blood pumping, which of course is another way to feel warmer.

Women sign up for the affairs website most often in July, suggesting that perhaps while many men are looking more for a snuggle buddy, women are looking for sizzle; more of a hot summer escapade versus a wintry romance by the fire.

Try Cuffing with the Partner You’re Already Attached To or Open Things Up

This cuffing season, if you’re a man looking for more warmth and connection, try it on with the one you’re already attached to. Your partner may be more open to more physical connection and romance and could be interested if you initiated more date nights.

Alternatively (especially if you and your partner have very different libido levels), think about talking to your partner about opening up your relationship. Consensual non-monogamy is a way many couples are getting their diverse sexual and emotional needs met. Perhaps it could work for you and your partner, as well.

If there has already been infidelity in your marriage, then you’ll definitely want to check out my book, The New Monogamy. This book helps couples regain trust, romance, and intimacy after infidelity by redefining the monogamy contract. The new monogamy contract is an explicit relationship agreement created after an affair that allows each partner to openly, honestly, and safely share their desires, expectations, and limitations. This agreement is not about creating an open marriage, but rather, an open conversation where each partner has a say in setting the ground rules for their relationship.

For more on the new monogamy, go to

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